Ted cruz goes from 'lyin' to 'beautiful'

The Late Show with Stephen Colbert

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The President flew down to Texas to hold a campaign rally for the senator formerly known as 'Lyin' Ted. Subscribe To "The Late Show" Channel HERE: more content from "The Late Show with Stephen Colbert", click HERE: full episodes of "The Late Show" HERE: "The Late Show" on Facebook HERE: "The Late Show" on Twitter HERE: "The Late Show" on Google+ HERE: "The Late Show" on Instagram HERE: "The Late Show" on Tumblr HERE: The Late Show with Stephen Colbert weeknights at 11:35 PM ET/10:35 PM CT. Only on CBS. Get the CBS app for iPhone & iPad! Click HERE: new episodes of shows you love across devices the next day, stream live TV, and watch full seasons of CBS fan favorites anytime, anywhere with CBS All Access. Try it free! Late Show with Stephen Colbert is the premier late night talk show on CBS, airing at 11:35pm EST, streaming online via CBS All Access, and delivered to the International Space Station on a USB drive taped to a weather balloon. Every night, viewers can expect: Comedy, humor, funny moments, witty interviews, celebrities, famous people, movie stars, bits, humorous celebrities doing bits, funny celebs, big group photos of every star from Hollywood, even the reclusive ones, plus also jokes.
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InvaderPet
InvaderPet

My dad passed away recently, and Stephen Colbert is one of the only things making me smile.

2018-10-23
TimeandMonotony
TimeandMonotony

"My favorite book is about elves and jewelry." Best description of LOTR I've ever heard. ๐Ÿ˜‚ (I'm an LOTR fan, by the way, so there's no shade.)

2018-10-23
Jo R
Jo R

When I was at school in the 1950's, before 'transgender' was even talked about, there was a girl in my glass who was obviously a boy. Even at the age of five, we all knew that Janet was different. She dressed like a girl, talked like a girl, but she wanted to be a boy, play with the boys toys, play football etc. Years later I heard she had gender reassignment surgery, but only after several suicide attempts. There are also chromosomal conditions in nature where a boy can have one Y chromosome and several X chromosomes. The Y makes him male, but the additional female chromosomes (one in 500 males has two X chromosomes), can upset the balance. If Trump is so interested in science now (hooray), maybe he should do some research before imposing a blanket ban on gender changes later in life.

2018-10-23
Gwen30
Gwen30

VOTE BLUE TO SAVE OUR DEMOCRACY NOVEMBER 6th, 2018! We need leaders not dictators!!!

2018-10-23
N N
N N

I canโ€™t make the lottery number out......How am I going to win anything if I donโ€™t have Stephenโ€™s number???

2018-10-23
dafttool
dafttool

*MASA - Make America Sane Again* ๐ŸŒŠ *Vote November 6th* ๐ŸŒŠ

2018-10-23
loglog7
loglog7

"It's 1 million jobs" "sir it's only 10,000, maybe 12,000 at most" "It's 1.2 million jobs" *every staff member in the white house facepalms simultaneously*

2018-10-23
glacious11
glacious11

When someone insults your wife's honor, you don't kiss their ass, you kick their ass. Looks like old Ted has gotten used to being on his knees though. Wonder how many times he's said thank you sir, may I have another.

2018-10-23
Lord AJ
Lord AJ

7:24 "a Silmarillion" I love the fact Stephen is a massive Tolkien fan, it makes him even more likeable than he already is.

2018-10-23
Unintended Consequences
Unintended Consequences

I can't think of anyone on the planet more narcissistic than Trump. It's quite amazing just how little conscience he has, and his lack of integrity and level of rank hypocrisy is truly staggering to behold.

2018-10-23
KesselRunner606
KesselRunner606

Defining gender as a biological condition determined by genitalia at birth. Does that make Trump a toadstool?

2018-10-23
Allan Koivu
Allan Koivu

Tiny Trump vouches for Beautiful Ted.......Texans are such wussies if they vote for these clowns....

2018-10-23
Err gag
Err gag

A man goes into a bar and orders a White Russian. The bartender hands him a picture of Trump. Trump steaks, Trump vodka, Trump cuff links, Trump ties, Trumps scam university, Trump failed casinos. Is there anything the Dotard won't put his name on? Oh yes laundering Russian mob money

2018-10-23
kimberly s
kimberly s

Trump doesn't have supporters... He's fans and cultists. With selective memories. Glad I voted blue early.

2018-10-23
Sandra Nelson
Sandra Nelson

Trudeau has been giving the Saudis the stink eye for a while now, and getting flack from the US. We have a thing in our law, that if a government is engaging in human rights violations, we can't do military business with them. Well, Trudeau has decided not to sell a bunch of military equipment to the Saudis, giving up A LOT of money. Of course, the Saudis are cranky at us, Trump is cranky at us. But there comes a point where , as a country, you have to be able to look at yourself in the mirror without flinching. If you don't stand for something, you'll stand for anything. America, what do you stand for?

2018-10-23
dumpthe chump
dumpthe chump

Blows me away how the repug's can't see how ridiculous their so-called-president is. They think we're so mean to him. How can we not make fun of him when he gives us so much ammunition?

2018-10-24
Henry Dawkins
Henry Dawkins

Vote democrat in midterm election

2018-10-23
Bev Tuft
Bev Tuft

after seeing Lyin Ted practically bow down and kiss Trump's ring, for him to continue to espouse his 'Texas Values" makes this Texan want to puke . He respects neither his wife nor his father, whom he throws under the bus just to feed that enormous hunger for political power.

2018-10-23
Adam Stark
Adam Stark

Breaking News: The FBI just raided President Trump's personal library. All 3 books were seized. The president is absolutely furious because.... ...he hadn't finished coloring them yet

2018-10-23
Ashtarte
Ashtarte

Remember that time Trump tried to pander to the LGBT crown with a flag that said "LGBT for Trump" and that he wouldn't do anything against transgender people. Yeah I'm not surprised he was lying either.

2018-10-24
NoBullShit
NoBullShit

I wonder how Cruz is able to stand upright without a spine. I feel the same way about the majority of the trump party (it used to be the republican party).

2018-10-23
1111MJR
1111MJR

Tedโ€™s so beautiful, if he hadnโ€™t run against me, I would probably be dating him.

2018-10-23
Gwen30
Gwen30

Vote Blue November 6th, 2018 or early if your state allows it!!!

2018-10-23
Ms FUNNY
Ms FUNNY

I wouldn't vote for a man who doesn't defend his own wife's honor.

2018-10-23
gigi stoner
gigi stoner

Vote Nov 6th straight DEMOCRAT ticket! SAVE our country!

2018-10-23
Jayden Irwin
Jayden Irwin

The science community recognizes transgender people. I wish Stephen pointed out Trump's lie.

2018-10-23
Kirsten S.
Kirsten S.

Stephen probably waited all night to get to mention The Silmarillion ๐Ÿ˜‚

2018-10-23
CButtonshaw
CButtonshaw

"Now that he sucks up to me he's beautiful" - Trump

2018-10-23
chiquis shortdog
chiquis shortdog

Vote for Beto!!!!!!

2018-10-23
bill burke
bill burke

It took 18 trained agents to fight an overweight journalist who was fighting for his life and they had to kill him? Saudi arabia royal family has been spending to much time in the sun Murderers

2018-10-23
mcstaal
mcstaal

When you sell your soul to the devil himself, you're not a good Christian.

2018-10-23
Eidlones
Eidlones

If there's any person I have zero confidence in, or respect for, it's someone who says they have zero regrets. They're either lying, or insanely detached from reality.

2018-10-23
aaronpolitical
aaronpolitical

FFS we already have a word for that, it's called "sex". Why do we need gender to be the same thing?

2018-10-23
George Mauricio
George Mauricio

M.a.G.a= MORONS ARE GOVERNING AMERICA

2018-10-23
James Harris
James Harris

If Trump has his way we'll soon have to unzip at the DMV just to renew our driver's license.

2018-10-23
clementinek25 m
clementinek25 m

Does drumpf only know like 4 adjectives?

2018-10-23
Baard Ove Kopperud
Baard Ove Kopperud

Well, pretty much everything from "the failing Whitehouse" for the last 20 months have been "fake news".

2018-10-23
Tooba Tr
Tooba Tr

" a Silmarillion" ah Stephen always trying to sneak in that Tolkien reference lol

2018-10-23
Dark Star
Dark Star

Republicans prove hourly they are corrupt lying sleaze.

2018-10-23
frank loren
frank loren

lol, the white house actually understands most of that arms deal is for older army surplus, so that doesn't create jobs.. somebody should really sit down the president and explain that to him... should be easy to do with pictures even..

2018-10-23
ursaltydog
ursaltydog

Fatal fistfight between aging man and 15 expert torturers who couldn't control him... sure..

2018-10-23
James Frank
James Frank

There are not 400,000, 500,000, 600,000, 1,000,000 jobs handling Foreign Military Sales. We don't supply the maintenance and labor for that equipment, the foreign nations do, we just issue the items and keep supply lines open for them to procure from.ย  He's pulling that number from his #2 favorite spot, the #1 of course being Ivanka...

2018-10-23
Nina Azule
Nina Azule

I live in Houston, Trump was busing in support!!!๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚In my neighborhood, Beto signs everywhere!!!Go Beto!!!!

2018-10-23
rory
rory

coming from a trans person, can we please stop saying that gender is fluid on the basis that someone has a personality/interests that don't adhere to traditional gender roles? i'm trans because i have gender dysphoria, not because i like football, the same way that i'm still trans despite enjoying the aesthetic of painted nails. i appreciate allies like stephen standing up for us on his platform, but the insinuation that gender is based on personality rather than your brain structure is far more harmful than helpful.

2018-10-23
Juwoki
Juwoki

I wonder what Trumps new love Kim will say if he hears about "beautiful Ted". DRAMA!!!

2018-10-23
Left Is Best
Left Is Best

Trump n Cruz are as bad as each other in different ways..

2018-10-23
JM C
JM C

We love Beto here in Texas!!!! ๐ŸŒŠ๐ŸŒŠ๐ŸŒŠ๐ŸŒŠ๐Ÿ‡บ๐Ÿ‡ธ๐Ÿ‡บ๐Ÿ‡ธ๐Ÿ‡บ๐Ÿ‡ธ๐Ÿ‡บ๐Ÿ‡ธ๐Ÿ’™๐Ÿ’™๐Ÿ’™๐Ÿ’™ 4 votes for Beto in my family! Vote Blue!!!

2018-10-23
Jeff Foehringer
Jeff Foehringer

Stephen and I have something in common. I also love that book about elves and jewelry.

2018-10-23
Gary Wesley
Gary Wesley

Trump has no shame nor pride whatsoever, absolutely no Christian attributes to this UnGodly man but yet Christians believe him! There is seriously something wrong with the Christian base who support him.

2018-10-23
thomas 71
thomas 71

Sounds like Trump is confusing jobs create with Mega Million, jobs created go up every Tuesday and Friday.

2018-10-23
A Retarded Orange Ape In The White House
A Retarded Orange Ape In The White House

Ted Cruz is the definition of a beta male.

2018-10-23
Wrong Turn
Wrong Turn

OMG, science does not define gender on baby junk. That is the least reliable criterion as ambiguous genitalia are very common. Sometimes even the internal organs are messed up or absent. In that case, external genitalia, secondary sexual characteristics, Internal organs and gonads, DNA and the person's own perception of him/herself and gender identity is taken into consideration for the most productive life with least psychological trauma. All of them put together is actual science. Taking just one and running with it is dark ages. This pseudo-intellectualism is more dangerous than pure denial of facts.

2018-10-23
Adam Poll
Adam Poll

Vote. Just vote. The self-proclaimed "greatest democracy" needs to recover or prove that the majority are genuinely deplorable.

2018-10-23
jenpenn22
jenpenn22

Nothing about that man is beautiful

2018-10-23
Stefan Joeres
Stefan Joeres

If Ted had some of his spine left he wouldn't accept Trumps endorsement. If someone said that my father killed JFK, said unflattering things about my wife and called me lying i would bodyslam him...

2018-10-23
LaGuan Hayes
LaGuan Hayes

There is one thing about this clip that is so impugning (to call the veracity of something into doubt). The arms sale to the Saudis and how many jobs it will generate. Trump's job numbers from October 13 to October 20 go from 400,000 to 1,000,000 in seven days. WTF?

2018-10-23
Rory Scottish
Rory Scottish

Trump insulted Cruz's wife He should not work with trump๐Ÿ†

2018-10-24
Napoleon I Bonaparte
Napoleon I Bonaparte

Melania is packing her bags

2018-10-23
clumsiii
clumsiii

โ€œA nation that continues year after year to spend more money on military defense than on programs of social uplift is approaching spiritual death.โ€ - MLK

2018-10-23
Annette St. Clair
Annette St. Clair

If I could win, I'd pay off my college debt and pay for the rest of my education.

2018-10-23
J Lind
J Lind

The climate is changing because humankind is not. Stephen is near a balanced and harmony being inside himself, he unconsciously said that he is both male and femme inside. And that is every individual humans true goal of evolution! Good, because I like Stephen and his team. They will probably make it through the next NINE LAST YEARS OF HUMANKIND(a whole healthy pregnancy cycle), after this time, there won't exist any humans anymore in this universe. Greetz JO&ฯ€

2018-10-23
Johnny Gadget
Johnny Gadget

...Hermaphrodites are a thing, how are they going accommodate that?

2018-10-23
issa osama
issa osama

I thought republicans are for โ€œsmall governmentโ€ I donโ€™t see how that matches with interfering with people going transgender or suppressing their existence... the only thing republicans believe in is hypocrisy.

2018-10-23
Trevor Ehlenbach
Trevor Ehlenbach

Voted today! #GoVote

2018-10-23
Kurt Cobain
Kurt Cobain

"Beautiful?" Is Trump questioning his sexuality?

2018-10-23
Gauris
Gauris

Love how Stephen slipped in the Tolkien ref, lol

2018-10-23
Coldheart322
Coldheart322

I wonder how many actual scientists they consulted on the transgender issue. I'm going to bet zero.

2018-10-23
KingOfMadCows
KingOfMadCows

Ted Cruz is so unlikable, the Zodiac Killer revealed his identity so people would stop associating him with Ted Cruz.

2018-10-23
james davis
james davis

$1.6 billion!! I'll be worth more than Donald Trump

2018-10-23
Abdou Bokazini
Abdou Bokazini

Now you care about science HOW CONVENIENT

2018-10-23
Gwen30
Gwen30

Lying, lying in the White House!!!

2018-10-23
Alan kirby
Alan kirby

You have to ask Ted one thing was it worth it to drop your knees for Trump to compromise your principles

2018-10-24
Kim Jong Fun
Kim Jong Fun

_"On behalf of our nation, I want to apologize to Mr Bone Saw and the entire Bonesaw family for the terrible pain and suffering you have been forced to endure. What happened to the Bonesaw family violates every notion of fairness, decency, and due process. In our country, a man or a woman must always be presumed innocent unless and until proven guilty. And You sir, Mr Bone Saw, under historic scrutiny, were proven innocent."_

2018-10-23
Johnny Rao
Johnny Rao

Wait, how are they going to define people with xx male syndrome and swyer syndrome?๐Ÿค”

2018-10-23
Sudeep Moharana
Sudeep Moharana

That is one of diverse monologue ... Kudos Stephen

2018-10-23
Jess Morrow
Jess Morrow

As a trans person, thank you Stephen for standing up for us on mainstream media.

2018-10-23
fatpatMC
fatpatMC

i would tell them that you won twice and want your money....doubled

2018-10-23
IAMdeathblade
IAMdeathblade

Ted Cruz the most spineless men in politics who am I kidding the whole GOp is corrupt

2018-10-23
Geraint Scott
Geraint Scott

Thank you for standing up for our trans friends <3

2018-10-23
The Winking Skeever
The Winking Skeever

"You gotta ask yourself one question: Do _I_ feel lucky? Well, do ya, punk?!?"

2018-10-23
47chromeAKs
47chromeAKs

They spun the wheel of discrimination and this week it landed on transgender people!!! Funniest thing I've heard about the Trump presidency

2018-10-23
JC #1
JC #1

5 , 9 , 13, 15 , 64 , 69 Thanks stephen

2018-10-23
tRonald Dump
tRonald Dump

He's a BLT, Beautiful Lyin' Ted

2018-10-23
Krells 10
Krells 10

Gosh, this president has leveled up from lying through his teeth to something that i can't describe, now he is a living walking lie ๐Ÿ‘ฃ๐Ÿ‘ฃ๐Ÿ‘ฃ

2018-10-24
Greg Gallacci
Greg Gallacci

Texas, why are you supporting an International Carpetbagger instead of a local boy? Cruz was born in Canada, moved here, changed his name. Can't say that any of that is true for the other candidate, who was born in Texas. America, start reading the fine print!

2018-10-23
Janice K
Janice K

Beautiful Ted ๐Ÿคข how about Canadian Cruz

2018-10-23
Beau33
Beau33

โ€œFake news from the failing white houseโ€ ๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚

2018-10-23
Yn Ab
Yn Ab

Beautiful Lying Ted

2018-10-23
Howie Dearman
Howie Dearman

I'm from Texas, and I cannot stand Ted Cruz that's why I like Beto

2018-10-23
Bravo Kilo
Bravo Kilo

Look, Trump is a prick but gender is not on a spectrum. You're going backwards, regressing social norms with that kind of mentality. Liking boats, trucks or sports isn't masculine, liking jewelry, dresses or wearing makeup isn't feminine. "THINGS" don't have genders, they are just things, either male or female can enjoy them without needing a label. A man can be beautiful and delicate, and a woman handsome or tough. To say one is inherently one or the other is asinine. I personally don't believe in "gender", the pronouns I give out are in reference to one's biological sex, that's it. Sure, I can sometimes mistake what someone's sex is, but so can other with their "gender". We all have different likes and dislikes, PEOPLE are on a spectrum, not gender. Sorry that you were offended by my opinion, but facts are more important than feelings to me and I only change my mind to what can be proven, those born with both sexes are the only ones who get to choose.

2018-10-23
BenderRodriguez10
BenderRodriguez10

Sadly, "Baby Junk" was my nickname in college.

2018-10-23
seker7
seker7

Mango Messiah Moron MAGA(ot) Minion'z Mingle & Mutate!!!!!!!!

2018-10-31
Chuy RDZ
Chuy RDZ

My grandma passed away yesterday and this guy makes ms forget the pain. RIP Mama Coco

2018-10-23
Christopher Sierras
Christopher Sierras

Ragging on the Donald is too easy. Colbert is hilarious, clever, and articulate with his opening monologues.

2018-10-23
hobbicles28
hobbicles28

Now speaking of attacking and Ted Cruz: I got a sneak preview of the new Halloween movie. I will give you a taste of the most pants wetting and fear inducing scenes. There is one part near the end where Michael Myers removes his mask. We see underneath it and is something so horrible, so filthy, so utterly disgusting, so panic inducing that I vomited three times. In a moment filled with sheer horror, pure an absolute terror, Michael Myers reveals his face an underneath the mask we see...the truth...as the eyes stare back cold, emotionless, bereft of life, devoid of a soul, humanity lacking, piercing you with such an icy, unfocused gaze... An you notice he is in fact... Ted Cruz!!! Oh dear god, I pissed my pants an vomited. again.

2018-10-24
Kim T
Kim T

Oh yeah, Raytheon builds bombs... Destroying the Earth at even a faster rate WHILE increasing the value of the Trump stocks.

2018-10-25
Ryan's Adventure & Info
Ryan's Adventure & Info

Am i the only person that's registered Republican voting against my party?

2018-10-23
Andovia212
Andovia212

I'm pretty sure science wouldn't back him up when he says trans people don't exist because I can recall multiple researches going on that say trans people do exist.

2018-10-24
meatwad74
meatwad74

Iโ€™ll bet some filthy frustrated trumpers eyes lit up when Colbert mentioned that left wingers came up with actual figured of how many jobs would be created. And then went back in his shell when the source was actually the White House portal. Iโ€™m sure Fox News would have spun it a different. Anyway, that scum of humanity not worth talking about. Vote them out. U can already vote early in most states.

2018-10-23
Van Tran
Van Tran

The Prince of Saud has a beach week calendar proving he didnโ€™t kill. He was with Squee, PJ, and gang-bang Pete.

2018-10-23